This was a topic I was dealing with for most of my life, but only so profoundly in the last several years as I hit my 30s.
The Problem of BEING Genuinely Happy
I tried everything from giving to charity, spending time with friends and family, consuming entertainment, working day and night, going to church and temples, drinking and taking drugs, prescription medication, and finally self-isolation.
At one point I even tried taking my own life to release myself from these negative thoughts. Luckily, I lived to see another day so one day you might read this.
Here’s what I learned:
DRUGS & ALCOHOL WORK WONDERS
In the first couple of months, I spent my days drinking and partying. This helps if you are trying to feel happy, getting it all out of the system. The alcohol gives you excess confidence and energy to keep going. But after a certain point, you start drinking before you get to the club, or with every meal, while working on the desk, and so on.
Sadly, this burns through your cash pile quickly and leaves you with a terrible hangover the next day or two. This is not a sustainable solution obviously, but I would say it’s still worth experimenting with. The lessons(of presence) you can learn are priceless–that is as long as you are still alive to see it through.
A MOMENT OF CLARITY LEADS TO AN AWAKENING
Going onto three months in hermit mode I began seeing patterns in my mood. Somedays, I will wake up and be feeling jolly for no apparent reason. Although, often-times the next day turns out I am feeling like shit. I found that these happy days were the warning signs that I will soon be unhappy again. A perpetual cycle of ups and downs.
THE REALITY IS…
Made up of things you can see, and everything else you can’t see. There are a lot more you can’t see, but we do know that it’s impossible fighting it, we are a part of this “everything”. And that It is constantly moving, changing, splitting, and growing.
All this time, NOTHINGNESS has been here, rooted with everything.
“It loves and nourishes all things, but does not lord over them. And when merits are accomplished, it lays no claim to them.”
>-Dao De Jing
SO WHAT CAN I(YOU) DO — TO BE HAPPY?
You can party on, or sulk in it. We can’t do anything about it. In fact, the harder we try, the harder you will come crashing down. These feelings we have of happiness, love, sadness, hate, etc. make up the kind of person you are.
GIVE TO OTHERS
The simplest way I like to explain what love is, “it means to give.” So you should give charity to the poor. But later in the evening, as you’re still working on that thing you’ve got going, you get hungry. At these moments, ordering take-out, and wine delivered to your home is an amazing feeling too.
In truth, it doesn’t matter, none of it does. Not even this article you’ve been reading up until now.
THANKS FOR READING!
Have you ever heard the cliche,
“the truth will set you free?”
THE TRUTH ABOUT HAPPINESS
This world(universe) is not here to make us happy. Its purpose is not to be the caregiver for our well-being. So why are we thinking we are entitled to happiness? And are you sure that you want it? There is always an equal amount of sadness that comes with it.
Seeing as how the world operates, the universe really enjoys throwing challenges and conflict into our daily lives. Especially when everything is going great. In this kind of environment, wouldn’t the logical emotional reaction be defensive? Who cares about happiness these days, it’s overrated.